


All Worthwhile

by triste



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kagami is on a mission to buy feminine hygiene products.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Worthwhile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highboys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highboys/gifts).



Title: All Worthwhile  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke  
Pairings: Kagami/Momoi, Kise/Kuroko  
Rating: PG  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

Kagami wouldn’t usually mind being asked to run an errand for Momoi, but when he finds out what she wants him to buy for her, he suddenly changes his mind.

“Why can’t you go?” he says.

“Because,” Momoi replies, eyes narrowing in a way that promises pain and suffering should he choose to refuse, “I can’t even move from the couch right now, you know, since it feels like someone has stuck a wire coat hanger up my vagina and is trying to yank out my internal organs, hence the hot water bottle pressed against my stomach in the hope of easing the cramps.”

Kagami shudders.

“Now, hurry up,” Momoi continues, “before I get the urge to do something irreversible to your man parts.”

PMS, Kagami thinks, is more of a curse on men than it is on women, but even though he’s not the brightest bulb in the box, he at least has enough sense not to voice his opinion out loud while he’s still within listening distance of Momoi. She’s been caught off guard this time, being as her periods nearly always tend to be reliable and predictable, but for once, it’s come early, and she’s assigned the duty of purchasing tampons to Kagami, much to his horror. Then again, he supposes an early period is better than a late one, because at least then he wouldn’t be paranoid about having accidentally gotten her pregnant.

So, Momoi’s pink purse tucked away safely in his coat pocket, Kagami sets off on his mission to acquire feminine hygiene products.

Maybe it’s just his imagination, but it feels as if everyone is staring at him when he opens the door of the pharmacy. It’s busier than it should be at this time of the day, and that only makes it worse. Keeping his head down in an attempt not to draw any further attention to himself (which is somewhat impossible, seeing as how he’s taller than everyone else in the vicinity), Kagami heads off on his search. He finds the tampons easily enough, but the real difficulty is getting them to the cash register without anyone else noticing, or without looking like he’s shoplifting.

It’s his bad luck that there’s a long line of customers waiting to be served, so he dawdles for a while, hoping they’re all gone by the time he’s ready to pay, pretending to be fascinated by the different varieties of toothpaste on offer. A quick glance over the shelf tells him that, although the queue has decreased since he last checked, there are still people around, so he turns to the hair care section instead, making out that he’s having a tough decision over which kind of conditioner to pick.

When he turns to look at the cash register a third time, however, he gets the fright of his life (again) to find Kuroko standing before him. Letting out a startled yelp that makes everyone else in the pharmacy jump, Kagami attempts to slow his pounding heartbeat.

“Hello,” Kuroko says mildly, like he hasn’t almost give Kagami cardiac arrest.

Ordinarily, Kagami would yell at him for popping up out of nowhere, but then he gets an amazing idea that might just save him some humiliation.

“You don’t get embarrassed by this kind of stuff, do you?” Gesturing to the box of tampons, Kagami whispers, “Will you buy these for me?” And because it’s all too easy to picture Momoi castrating him if he dares to return home empty handed, he adds (albeit grudgingly), “Please?”

Kuroko’s response is prompt and to the point. “No.”

“Why not?”

Kuroko’s eyes gleam with an unholy light. “Because it’s funnier this way.”

Kagami’s fingers twitch with the urge to wrap them around Kuroko’s neck for being such an evil little bastard, who enjoys watching him suffer, when he’s given his second fright of the evening, this time by Kise, and he seems to have taken lessons in creeping up on people from Kuroko, because Kagami never noticed him appear, either.

“Oh, Kagamicchi!” he exclaims. “Have you started your first period?”

“Of course not, you idiot!” Kagami bellows, going bright red when he notices that he’s being stared at. 

“I’m kidding,” Kise reassures him. “You’re shopping for Momocchi, right?”

“Yeah,” Kagami grunts. “Anyone would think she was dying or something, the way she’s been acting. She’s only on her period, for god’s sake.”

“In that case, you should also buy her some aspirin,” Kise advises, “along with a heating pad, and probably some chocolate. I guarantee her mood will change completely when she sees how considerate you can be.”

Impressed in spite of himself (it never would have occurred to him to add some little extras), Kagami makes a face, and he wonders how the hell Kise knows crap like this when he’s supposed to be gay, but he’s a tiny bit envious when he thinks about how Kise doesn’t have a hormonal girlfriend to deal with, at least until Kagami remembers he’s dating Kuroko, and it leaves him feeling sorry for him. 

“Uh, sure,” he says. “I’ll do that.” Then he pauses. “Wait, what are you guys doing here?”

“Me and Kurokocchi?” Kise beams. “We came to buy more lube, of course!”

The hushed atmosphere of the pharmacy seems to amplify Kise’s voice, carrying it within easy reach for all the other customers to hear, and Kagami claps a hand over his mouth, appalled at his lack of tact and self-consciousness.

“Keep it down!” he hisses.

“But it’s the truth,” Kuroko points out, and he’s even more amused than before, the jerk. “Kise-kun wanted to try the flavoured ones. There’s more of a variety online, but we were in a hurry and needed some now. We’ve book marked a website to browse later though, where you can apparently get lubricant that tastes like bacon. Isn’t modern science amazing?”

“Why do I even know you people?” Kagami despairs.

Still, it’s worth enduring the torture if it means getting back into Momoi’s good books, and the smile on her face makes it all worthwhile.

“You are such a sweetheart,” she says, kissing him on the cheek. “I can’t believe you’d be so thoughtful. I’m sorry for being horrible earlier.”

There must be something in chocolate that dulls the pain receptors and turns women more affectionate, because the Momoi who snuggles up with Kagami now is like a different person. 

“I hope you feel better soon,” he tells her (and he’s not saying it simply because he’s trying to sound like the perfect boyfriend in her eyes, because he really would prefer an improvement in her disposition, as menstruating females can be terrifying). “Just yell if there’s anything else you need.”

“I love you so much,” Momoi declares, nuzzling her cheek against his chest. “Never leave me, okay?”

Later, when she’s dozed off, Kagami figures he ought to thank Kise, so he gives him a call. Kuroko is the one who answers, and he’s a little breathless, but Kagami doesn’t think anything of it at first, assuming Kuroko must have run to pick up the phone in time.

“That’s great,” Kuroko says upon receiving the news, but then he gasps, and Kagami is about to ask if he’s all right when Kuroko suddenly whimpers. 

“Oh god,” he says, realisation dawning on him. “You’re having sex with Kise, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Kuroko moans. “I – mm, do that again, Ryouta.” 

Kagami slams the receiver down like he’s been burned by it, wondering how long it’ll take to recover from the trauma.


End file.
